Worship

I am an usher during my mornings at BSF. This is not a glamorous job. I am the lady that asks as politely as possible for the 400th time for the other ladies to do the pew shuffle and make room for others. Because of this position though, it is hard to sing the hymns with the rest of the people. IN fact we aren't allowed to hold hymnals while doing our job, so I stand and worship God by listening. It is a fairly new experience for me, to listen to the choir of voices singing songs that unless I know I have to just pay attention to.

Yesterday morning something caught a hold of me though. We were singing the song "Peace like a River". Most people know this one, I think it was even on "Little House on the Prairie", but it says in the chorus, "It is well with my soul" over and over again. Now if you don't know the hymn was penned while crossing the Atlantic and the author had just lost his family in a tragic accident. Yet he penned "It is well with my soul". Amazing. Some of the ladies you could see, were actually paying attention to the words. Several actually stopped singing along and began to weep. In today's economic crisis, are things well with my soul? If God took MY kids, could I sing the song?

I think it is easy to sing songs that are like "Amazing Grace" Oh yeah, let's sing all four choruses on that one!!! What about "Our God is an Awesome God" Woohoo yeah gets the blood pumping. We sing one at church that is very upbeat that talks of God being near, and Heaven coming down. I love it, but these are Happy songs that talk about who God is. These are great and I can get into them. But on Sunday we were challenged as we were about to sing "Blessed be the Name of the Lord" to really listen to the words. When God "Gives and takes away, my heart will truly say, Lord blessed be your name". Really????? IF God took away my family, I would have a hard time singing. IF He took away cancer, no problem, let's sing that again.

Several years ago, our old worship minister actually asked us to not sing, if we didn't believe the words we that were coming out of our mouth. There were several Sunday's when our church wasn't a choir, but more like a quartet. His challenge struck me again today. Am I lying in my worship if I am singing with the masses "Blessed be your name" or "It is well with my soul" if in my heart of hearts it isn't. Should I sing, as a reminder of where my heart needs to be? This is something I am going to ponder for a while. I want my worship in song to be genuine and not just following the masses. Maybe even in my own church where I know the words and they are displayed for me, I should be really LISTENING to what the words are saying like I have to do in BSF.